This is the rare film that is so poorly made, so absolutely weird, that it becomes a form of outsider art. Centuries from now, future generations will discover this VHS tape as they mine old landfills for relics of the past, and they will not need to ask themselves any further why 21st century man faded from this realm.
If there’s anything that sets the films of Bobby Suarez apart from the films of Cirio Santiago, it’s that most of them make some sort of sense, at least relative to the universe about which we’re talking. But even Suarez was unable to resist the siren song of making a batshit insane post-apocalyptic action movie.
The film started out as a Road Warrior rip-off. Then I got distracted, and when I returned to the living room I found Bruce Le locked in mortal kicking combat with Hwang Jang Lee wearing a silver wig.
Unfortunately, evil alien leader Tonga knows Ivy is the Earth’s most special girl, and so he sends assassins to earth to eliminate the only threat to his dreams of conquering Earth. Meanwhile, Earth’s giant robots seem pretty adept at destroying Tonga’s invading fleet.
I once stayed at a place in the Smoky Mountains that was a combo motel and biker bar. The toilet in my dingy room was a hole cut in the […]
The most surprising thing about Tekken is how unawful it is. It is, as stated, incredibly generic and obvious. But that aside, it executes the formula well enough, and there seems to have been some actual effort put into making it.
Street Fighter is best known for being the final film of well respected, Academy Award winning actor Raul Julia, whose final gift to society was himself in a red leather fascist get-up, cackling and flying around and shooting lightning out of his hands.
“I think we can put our differences behind us… for science… you monster.” Portal 2 is a game that gleefully flies against all the wrong-headed assumptions about games — both […]
If more Godzilla fans could get the broom out of their ass and actually enjoy the films rather than nitpick and dissect them under an electron microscope, they’d see that in its own way, for its own audience, Minya and Godzilla’s Revenge are as effective and important to the series as the original.
If Earth is to be saved, the smirking man from the awesome past is going to need to teach these future Earth people to not be such a bunch of chumps